I always get a good laugh when I look at the search phrases that people googled when they stumbled across my blog. Today's post is going to be short and sweet, but I wanted to share with you some of my favorites that I found while stalking my own statistics this morning.

Enjoy.

1.How to ask a man for his socks
2. How to change a slutty reputation
3. Justin Timberlake pissing in public
4. Powers on the boob
5. Wet my pants in Church
6. Drunk giraffe freekshow dance
7. Screech Powers: father of my monkey babies
8. Sweaty sock porn

I am my own biggest fan

I was originally planning on posting about a strange encounter I had last week with a few former champions from the show " The Biggest Loser" in Times Square, but instead I think I am going to take a break from broadcasting my awkwardness and try something I have never tried before. I am going to blog about blogging.

I have read a few posts from great bloggers with great advice about how to make your blog appealing to people other than your guilted parents.

This will in no way shape of form be helpful to anyone. Well..except me.

I hope.

I have been blogging since Mid September and although I usually feel like I can grasp the concept of how to draw attention to my site, I know that I still have a lot to learn. I have a few questions for you experienced bloggers and bloggerettes and if you would be so kind, I would love your feed back.

1. I have a fan base of 39 followers, two of which happen to be my own parents. I also have a large group of people who I know are reading because they will occasionally comment on posts, but the don't follow. Is this normal? I feel like when I find a blog that I like, I always follow it so that their entries show up on my dashboard when I get to work in the morning. I also feel that following Is a way of saying "you are awesome". The follow button is the button of love and acceptance. If people read and don't follow, does it mean that They don't like what they have read? Is it because I occasionally use the term "boner for Jesus"? Are they lazy?

2. What are your thoughts and feelings about scheduling posts? I sort of like the idea in theory, but I feel like I would be lying to all 39 of my followers. I even feel a little guilty about lying to the non following readers although their feelings are far less important to me. It just seems fishy if blogger says that I posted at 7am after my morning corn muffin when in actuality it was written on my couch with a bottle of wine while watching reruns of Little House On The Prairie that I recorded off cable and onto several VHS.

3. I thought that there was a strong positive correlation between the quantity and quality of my posts and the number of page views I received. This week proved me very wrong. As you know, this is the first post I have written this month. For the first few weeks of June, my page was being opened 0-4 times a day. It was pretty pathetic. I knew that I had to pick up momentum and start writing again, but I just couldn't seem to find the time. All of a sudden though, on June 7th, my blog was viewed 135 times and has continued to gain traffic through the next 2 weeks. I am thrilled about the new reader base, but still, not a single one of the 768 view in June have resulted in a follower increase.

Thanks for your help folks. If this post put you to sleep, I apologize. I promise to write about my Big Loser friends later in the week, or maybe I have already written it and it has berm scheduled to go out later in the week. You may never know. Creepy


- professional freakshow