Thursday, September 23, 2010

This week needs one big earaser

If you are in the need for a good luck charm; go to the nearest gas station and buy a purple rabbit’s foot keychain. You should also stay as far away from me as possible.

I need to find a rabbit with 20 purple feet and carry him in my suitcase. Sitting with the same obnoxious man on two flights in a row was a bite of chocolate cake with chocolate frosting compared to the rest of my week. It scares me to death that it is only Wednesday. I think that a time stamped list of events will help express this week’s horror.

Monday 1:15 AM- Plane lands in Boston

Monday 1:30 am- I discover that my luggage has decided not to join me in Boston and instead vacation in Charlotte, NC with all of my work clothing, hairbrush, makeup, and day planner.

Monday 1:31am- Freak out and whisper every word that my father wouldn’t approve of. Every. Single. One.

Monday 1:41am- Calm down and realize that I tend to overreact from time to time. Everything in the bag is replaceable except for the damn day planner that has all of my contact numbers, addresses, appointment times etc.

Monday 1:42 am Fill out missing bag paper work. Still want to nap

Monday 2 am- get lost in Boston because my GPS has decided to seek revenge for all of the times I have referred to her as “bitch in a box” and pretend not to recognize any of the roads in the city. I have new names for her now. Again, Dad would not approve.

Monday 3:30 am- check into hotel

Monday 3:31 am- Thank myself for reviewing my planner before packing it and remember what High schools I am visiting for Monday. I can call the office to get the times for the rest of the week if my bag doesn’t show up.

Monday 6 am – go to walmart to find an ugly frumpy black skirt so that I don’t have to go to my first meeting in sweats. I had to set up for a morning fair at 8:45am and nothing else was open. Great.

Monday 8:45am – Show up to morning college fair. There are 10-12 other counselors walking into the building with me . When we get into the building that guidance director apologizes. They had been getting RSVPs all summer to a college fair at their HS that they knew nothing about. I obviously could not show them my invite because it was still enjoying the southern sunshine, but one of the other counselors had his on hand. The Invite had this high school’s name, address, and phone number, but school had no idea where it came from. Thank goodness the fair had not asked for a participation fee. Although I think that makes it even more weird. The guidance staff was very nice though and met with each of the Admissions counselors individually.

Monday 1pm: High school visit. Nothing worth reporting.

Monday 2 pm: Get a call from God at Boston Airport. They have my bag.

Monday 2:01PM- victory dance.

Monday 3PM: arrive at airport. Get bag. Zipper is jammed…open. Nothing has fallen out.. except for my day planner.

Monday 3:01 Freak out and fill out missing property paperwork. I felt stupid filling out that the financial value of the missing item(s) totaled to about $8. I was suuure that it would become their top priority.

Monday 3:30- decided to take matters into my own hands. I researched numbers for the Lynchburg airport and the Charlotte airport. I figured that if my daIy planner was ever going to be found, it would have already happened and been turned in. I called Charlotte airport first. Talked to a very friendly Man, Nathan.

Monday 3:31- Nathan checks the lost and found box and finds my day planner.

Monday 3:32- I confess my love to Nathan. Nathan laughs and fills out my contact information in the front of my planner, offers to send it to me in the mail, and read me aloud all of the visits that I had scheduled for the week.

Monday 8:30- Call parents to tell them that my day planner is being mailed to their house. Dad tells me that my beautiful sister was in a pretty bad car accident earlier that day. She is okay, but my heart strings get tied into knots

Tuesday 8:30 am – GPS charger breaks

Tuesday 10am- GPS dies and I get lost in East bum fuck, NY

Tuesaday 10:01 am- dad reads me directions out of EBF,NY to my high school and then to Best BUY

Tuesday 7pm- College fair in CT=0 interest cards.

I have decided that when this week is over, I am going to just pretend that it never happened. I may even rip this whole week out of my day planner, that is of course if I ever see my day planner again.

2 comments:

florida mango said...

I'm new to your blog but I already love it!

If it's ok with you I'm going to use "bitch in a box" and "East bum fuck"

Thank you for making me LMFAO! I can't wait to hear more about your travels.

Erin said...

Thank you for your sweetness! Feel free to use East bum fuck. If you use Bitch in a box however, you must be prepared for your GPS to rebel and possibly even send you to East Bumfuck as a punishment. Although this would ultimately give you an excuse to use the term, so I suppose it wouldnt be all bad.

I am new to blogging and I wasnt aware that people were actually reading it! This is great. Thanks to the motivation!